Roby On The Web

Fellow Unemployed Americans, 

The bills are coming in. The phone isn’t ringing. The e-mail aren’t being returned. The unemployment rate is dropping, but you find yourself a part of the percentage. 

Put all that aside for a few moments. Grab some coffee. I’ll be right here. Back? Good. Here we go: 

You’re in a great situation. 

On the surface, there’s nothing great about being downsized, laid off, let go, fired or whatever word they use these days. Nobody that has ever lived has enjoyed the scenario of wondering what they’ll tell their spouse or significant other as you pack your belongings into a file box. 

Unemployment can make you angry, confused and depressed. But only if you let it.   

This is my second time being out of work within four years actually. That seems pretty normal for the ad industry, as we seem to be picked-off like fill-in AAA ballplayers facing Mariano Rivera. 

I didn’t handle it well the first time around. Doubt crept in pretty quickly. But, after four months or so, I got a new gig. People have been out of work for much, much longer than that, so I count my blessings. 

But, the past is in the past for both of us dear reader. We’ve both come to a crossroads in our lives. Take solace in knowing that most people around the world have found themselves unexpectedly out of work. If they can come out of the other end, then so can you. 

I think we’re both in a position to have a better life than the one we had. We just need to get though the rough seas of unemployment. 

Allow me to offer you some tips on how to get through it. Yes, you’ve read a billion and a half of these kinds of articles. I’m no guru. Just a guy trying to make his way though this. If I can help someone else get through it, all the better. 

SET A GOAL - Realize this: It’s not about paying the bills. It’s about finding something that you love to do, everyday, for the rest of your time on the planet. Assuming you’re human, at one time you felt like you were put on this Earth to do something. Figure that out. If your entire unemployment being is simply about money, then you’ll be distracted and un-focused. Set a goal. An idealized job or profession. At your lowest point, Googling how to get that job is 100% better than not getting out of bed in the morning. 

BACK AWAY FROM JOB BOARDS. - Your dream job isn’t going to be posted on Craigslist, Monster or any other job board. You can’t rely on them. Check them. Highlight the gigs you life, then back the hell away. Spending time there opens up stupid thoughts like “Well, if I only had X skill I could apply for Y job”. The lack of jobs that interest you there don’t really reflect what is actually available for work. Freelancing  or networking with others in your dream industry will get your closer. 

GET A LIFE - When you’re out of work, your brain kicks into money lockdown mode. You feel compelled to sit at home so you can “focus” on finding work and not be tempted to spend cash. I found that getting out of the house is essential to surviving now.  Go to a coffee place, library, movie theater or the park. Getting out of the house re-connects you with society. It reminds you that there’s more to your life than collecting a paycheck. Seeing other people milling about reminds you that we’ve all got problems to work through. 

INBOX AVOIDANCE - When we’re unemployed, the e-mail inbox and telephone can feel like a lifeline. If someone contacts us - WE FEEL LIKE WE EXIST. If the phone doesn’t ring or our e-mails aren’t returned, WE’RE DEAD TO THE WORLD. 

I wish I had the answers as to why those e-mails weren’t returned or nobody called you back about that job that took 2 1/2 hours to apply to online. I struggle with this on a daily basis, but I’ve learned to live with it. I fill out my application, hit send, and generally try to forget about it. I e-mail a contact about freelancing, e-mail again, and if I don’t get a response, I move on. Just because people aren’t contacting you, that doesn’t mean you’re un-employable. Not all of us fit into every job. Don’t hover over the inbox or the phone. 

THE BLAME GAME - I had a rather clean, no harm, no foul break from my agency. Others might not have had it as easy. It’s easy to place blame in order to make us feel better feel victimized. You hate the CEO, the CCO or even POTUS if you want to get really big picture. 

Stop it. It’s not going to help. Re-focus. At this point in your life, all the blame for not getting work really is on you. People can help out with job leads, suggestions and even some cash to cover the bills. But, it’s YOUR effort that will get you out of this mess. Stop blaming. Do. 

CHANGE IS GOOD - I’m a different person since being let go. My attitude is different. I’ve added new skills. I’ve met new people. I even slashed off most of my hair. Make a change in your life. Get a haircut. Sell your crap on eBay and get a new shirt or two. Maybe a bike. Read some books. Learn a new language. It doesn’t need to cost a lot of money to do this. Switch things up somehow. Progress. Evolve. 

DO SOMETHING INTERESTING - When you get your next interview or job opportunity, they’re going to ask “So, what have you been doing since being let go”. What are you going to say? 

It’s crazy, but I’ve gotten through this by BEING A full-blown web video producer/writer/director. I’m not getting paid, but it’s what I want to in life. Now I’ve got something to point at and say “Here’s what I’ve been up to.” Do something interesting. If it can help you land your next job, great. It will keep you motivated.  

SHOW YOURSELF - There are no bosses, co-workers, clients or managers to get in your way. Nobody to muddle with your vision or ability. Show us what happens when the reins are off. You may not have all of the resources, but more than likely, you can pull together something that you’ll be proud of. Maybe it’s the trump card that will get you the next gig. 

1 VERSUS 100 - Instead of worrying about that one perfect cover letter to that one employer, what can you do that can be seen by hundreds of people? A blog? A video? An art show or trade fair? How can you be visible? 

BETTER OFF - At least a few times I week, I think back to the fact that I used to drive 90 miles one way to work every day. Thank the lord I don’t have to do that. That idea alone gets me through most days. Think back to your past gig and focus on what you DON’T have to go through. If you were paid twice your salary, would you go back? 

MY CARD - What’s stopping you from being self employed? There are people with less talent, less good-looks and less intelligence that you that have opened a small business. Take a good, long, hard look at what you want to do in life and see how you can make money off of that. Get some entrepreneur books. 

I’ll admit that I’m walking down this route, and it’s as scary as hell. I worry I’m not talented. That I lack equipment and funding. I need better stuff on my reel. People will see me as a hack. I come up with hundreds of other things to do than make a few cold calls. (Blogging) Yet, in some ways, it may get me further towards paying a bill than filling out a job application. 

Self-employed isn’t for everyone. At the most, it could be the break you’ve been looking for. The least, it’s a project to work on. 

Yes, you might fail. I’ve failed at a ton of things, and will do so at many more. We’re trying to better ourselves. There is no failure in that. 

FAMILY TIME - Strangely, my unemployment has brought me closer to my wife and kids. I’m home to help with homework or play while my boys while Sara makes dinner. I try to have one bit of information or progress to pass along every day. At the same time, I open up to her on my frustrations about the lack of response from emails. Keep those closest to you informed about how you’re doing. Yes, sometimes there may be “nothing to report”. But showing that you’re being active can be a big relief for everyone. 

While my list may be extensive and rather wordy, I hope you have gained something from this. I can’t make promises that this will get any better soon. You may have been out of work ten times longer and have bill collectors camping outside your house. I don’t want to get in a lowest checking balance sword fight with you. We’re both in the same place, and I ask you to not dwell on the negativity of your plight. Don’t. There is just so much negativity in our world.  Move away. 

I leave you with this: embrace this clean start for everything it can be. If you remain focused, goal-orientated, upbeat and KNOW that this is only a temporary situation, you’ll be fine. Unemployment is a cleansing. A chance to do great things. Be active. Celebrate the health of friends and family. 

It will be okay dear reader. It will be okay. 

It’s funny how a few hours of being dead will change your outlook. 

I’m unfamiliar with the nomenclature of zombies. Undead. Living dead. Waking dead. None of it is in my area of interest. While it’s safe to say I achieve a zombie-like state of being every morning before my coffee, I’m not into the zombie craze. But, when a local filmmaker put out a call for zombie extras, I signed up. 

The day of the shoot, I realized that I didn’t have any clothing that I didn’t want to get slathered up in blood. This being a low budget, no-pay gig, we were on our own for costume options. Seeing nothing that I wanted to depart with, I slipped out to find something appropriate for zombie duty. 

In reality, I needed to get out of the house and step away from the horror story I was currently living, my Kickstarter campaign. 

Oh Kickstarter… that magical and sexy funding site. The temptress of creative projects in need of cash. My Associate Producer, Whitney, and I spent months preparing for the launch. We poured over hundreds of other Kickstarter campaigns to see where they went right or wrong. Dozens of drafts of the copy for the campaign were kicked around. I shot the campaign video twice. 

We were set. We believed that people and parents that were DESPERATE for the kind of kid-friendly content we were providing and would, in turn, generously donate. 

We unleashed our Kickstarter and waited. We poured over our social networks, searching for those magical shares and RTs from people we didn’t know. 

We waited. And waited. Aaand waited. 

We thought it would be easy as hitting “Publish”.  

And then Day One ended. 

With $100. 

It was a horror story unfolding in front of my eyes. 

I’d spent the past few years having my creative ideas trashed, re-written, dismissed, laughed at (the wrong kind of laughing at) and outright ignored. You’d think I would have been able to shake this off. 

Oh no. This was different. This wasn’t copy for a client that I didn’t care about.  It’s not something I “hand off”, as so much of the advertising world work is. 

This was EVERYTHING. A project I’d seen through every stage of it’s creation. Something I poured my heart and any available spare penny into. I am “Imagination Situation”. “Imagination Situation” is me.  

I’m worth $100 ? 

Inevitably, doubt hacks its way into the walls of my mind. Were we wrong? Is this a bad idea? Kickstarter, for all of its benefits, is a showcase of some terrible ideas. It looks so easy. Type up a proposal and *Bing*… you’re on Kickstarter with yet another webseries about superheroes. Or people working in offices. Or superheroes working in offices. 

Yes, everyone that puts something on Kickstarter believes their project has value to the right audience. And if a web seres can land $273,725 , we can get a mere $8,500? Right? 

I didn’t want to be near a computer. To spend my afternoon measuring analytics and being fixated over YouTube views. I had to run. To Marshalls.

Browsing the men’s section, I tried to get into character. When the inevitable infestation hit, what would Roby be wearing? The answers soon arrived in a blue plaid shirt and retro Dunkin Donuts t-shirt. What the hell. End of days and all. 

Interesting life, these zombies lead. Once unassuming and meek, Zombies adapt and attack in order to survive. They salvage what they can, doing whatever’s necessary to see another day. We may question their methodology, but for zombies, it works. 

Adapt. Attack. Survive. 

Bing. 

Imagination Situation - Zombie Kickstarter. 

On Saturday, our strategy shifted. We’d been relying on our audience to spread the message. To feed them shareable content everyday with ’21 Days Of Imagination’. In a world of “Likes” and shares, it’s crucial for that kind of support to get interest. But, our audience wasn’t responding. They still might. It’s early. But the strategy has changed. 

We’re now funding six episodes of awareness, rather than feeding an already established audience. The goal isn’t to be supported by an audience, it’s to build something that will eventually find an audience. 

Also, we need to be direct. About asking for exposure. A blog post. Money. 

This was no time for me to be stubborn. I can’t just sit back and hope. I’ve already done too much of that in my life. 

Imagination Situation is more than a mere web series, it’s a calling card for my career. If I quit on this, what chance to I have to run my own business, where I’ll spend most of my time convincing people to pay for my services? 

This is when I push myself. When I find the second gear. I analyze the feedback and make changes. In the end, there is nobody to blame but me. Imagination Situation will die if I want it to. If I think it’s something not worth doing. 

I don’t. I’m shifting. Reassessing. Planning. Now is when we try anything. 

I spent an enjoyable evening covered in fake gore and walking with a slanted leg. I don’t think the blood will ever come out of the blue shirt. Thankfully, the Dunkin one is fine. 

I’ll give the zombies this… they do what’s necessary to survive. How many of us can really say we’ve done that? 

“What the hell am I doing here?”

That was the consistent question running through my head at the Dad 2.0 Summit. 

And it was certainly worth asking when I found myself in the women’s restroom. 

The restrooms at the Hyatt Lost Pines Resort are decorated in a very neutral fashion. It was their overall blandness that probably led me to not realize the bathroom was sans-urinals. But, when my stomach started acting up in the middle of one of the sessions, I simply sought out a seat. After all, I’m accustomed to doing my best work in seclusion, where my thoughts are free to…. um, wander. 

Introverts aren’t naturally attracted to conferences. Worse, I was an unknown introvert. 

Dad 2.0 Summit was the guy-centric spinoff of Mom 2.0. This cross-pollination of blogging talent led to almost every attendee knowing one another. Everyone was already in the pool. I was arriving late to the party. Inappropriately dressed too. 

I was surrounded by well-known bloggers, people with large followings who’ve written for big-name websites. Writers who’ve taken their families on sponsored vacations by well-known companies. People with mysterious screen names like “PetCobra” and “HomeAndUncool”. I chatted with Charlie, and actor in LA who’s carved his own niche with “How To Be A Dad” that is humming along with 89K + Twitter followers. 

There wasn’t a moment I WASN’T terrified.

What the hell WAS I doing there? 

With no aspirations on being a pro blogger, I went to Dad 2.0 Summit to learn about attracting attention to dad/parent projects (solution: good writing) and how dads are perceived in the media (somewhere between Homer Simpson and Cliff Huxtable). With an unknown web series as my calling card, I mingled with media folks, tested Xbox games and test drove a Honda CRV though a rainstorm of biblical proportions. Seriously. I think I saw Noah floating down to SXSW.  

You learn quickly that nobody is in this for the money. While some bloggers are able to provide steady incomes, most maintain full-time “real jobs” or spread themselves over dozens of writing projects. There is no David Sedaris of dad bloggers. Like every industry, there are Rock Stars. Ours travel in vans rather than Gulfstreams. 

So, if fortune and glory aren’t found in blogging, what were these dads doing here? What was this conference all about if it couldn’t offer success? 

Turns out that success isn’t on everyone’s mind. Dads were driven here for a bigger purpose. To spread the word of the modern dad because they were modern dads themselves. The thread of fatherhood bound us all together. As difficult as it is to raise children (something I need major help with), this band of brothers (and sisters) use those roller coaster moments to find a career or hobby that fuels their soul. Expression, creation and personal fulfillment are our corner offices and executive washrooms. 

We bonded over drinks and dedication. Driven to be exceptional fathers and fulfilled in our careers. These people, who before the conference were nothing more than names on a Twitter feed, were just like me. 

Why was I there? I needed to know people like this existed. 

As I balance starting my own production company and launching “Imagination Situation”, I struggle with the knowledge of that shrinking bank account. The cover letters that go ignored. The interviews that never pan out. Is this what a sane dad does? Risk so much for unproven ventures? 

Dad 2.0 was founded on the unproven. A conference for dads and brands to get to know each other. It was a huge risk for founders Doug French and John Pacini to pull this off and it succeeded with flying colors. I’m indebted to those guys for giving me a ticket into the dad world. I’m thankful to the dads and moms, whom I only got to know a little while, for the camaraderie, knowledge and drinking stories. 

It has taken me a few days to really realize the boost that Dad 2.0 Summit was for me. I’m doing the right thing. I’m not alone. 

Thankfully, I was also alone in that women’s restroom. 

Shortly after finding my seclusion, I soaked in my silent surroundings. “Hmm” I thought. “It’s kind of weird that this mens room has one of those feminine hygiene product disposal boxes. Must be in case a women accidentally wanders in here”. Or not. 

Zip. Flush. Zoom.

I was out of there. No awkward meeting with the correct gender. No eye-contact with a surprised housekeeping employee. I escaped embarrassment. If only for today. 

Dad 2.0 Summit introduced me to a strange new world… that of a person who knows who he is and what he’s doing. And, one that needs to keep his head up a little more often.  

In times of unemployment, people look for a reason to keep going. They seek out whatever they can take comfort in and draw strength from. A biblical passage. A quote. 

Wise words from Vince Lombardi, Ghandi or Martin Luther King Jr. can inspire. Give us. Power. Purpose.  

I have Jason Segel. 

The soundtrack to “The Muppets” have been a constant in our household. Children, being creatures of habit, are addicted to the songs over and over again. Kieran will repeatedly, and loudly I might add, belt out “AM I A MAN, OR A MUFFET” (he’s having trouble with his “p”s.) The soundtrack is a constant in every car trip. While my distaste for the movie as a wholeis well known, I can handle the soundtrack. Hey, I’ll take “Me And Julio Down By The School Yard” over Raffi anytime. Some parents are still in therapy over repeated exposure to Barney The Purple Dinosaur. Google it. It’s true. 

If you haven’t seen “The Muppets”, the opening number is a peppy optimistic diddy called “Life’s A Happy Song”, where Gary (Jason Siegel) and his muppet brother Walter, sing about their idealized world, thanks to having someone along side of them to navigate life’s ups and downs. It nails the movie’s themes of belonging, friendship and being there for someone.  

The song clicks with me because of it’s balls-out optimistic tone. “Nothing’s stopping you/Nothing you can’t do/That the world can throw at you.” 

Damn Straight. 

When whispers of client losses float through an ad agency, you suspiciously eyeball every hushed conversation. Your ears pick up squeaky office door closing. It could be nothing. Or everything. 

I caught a glimpse of a closed-door conversation involving the owner, a junior employee and the HR lady.  It was happening. People were being let go. Then it was my turn. “We’d like to see you in Al’s office”. I knew that within minutes, I’d be unemployed when that meeting ended. 

I was fine with that.

I was being handed the shot to create my life. Maybe even reinvent myself.  It felt good. No, it felt great.  

Nothing stopping you. Nothing you can’t do. ( No. I didn’t break into song as I left. This isn’t “Community”). 

A funny thing happened to me while I was working as an agency copywriter. I discovered I wanted more out of life than to just be a writer.  

My outside of work creativity exploded. I bought a green screen and lights, fueled by some crazy notion that I could create a web series. It was a byproduct of my late-night scriptwriting. If endless nights of writing screenplays wasn’t paying off, how could I attract attention to my writing and myself? Not just a writer, but a creator. 

The rush of building the web series propelled me. I was casting actors, doing budgets, writing scripts, planning a social media campaign, doing a web site, filing the papers to get my own production company, Wind Up Jet Pack, off the ground, so to speak. 

There’s a strange sort of symbolism of the fact that I was let go on the eve of shooting “Imagination Situation”. There I was, unemployed, standing on a ladder at 6:30 a.m. and steam cleaning a green screen, completely happy. I was reminded that my creativity isn’t defined by a place of employment. I just have to keep going, doing what I love, and satisfaction will follow. Success will find me. I’m creating my path in life. 

I’ve attacked this bout of unemployment. Within the coming week, I’ve booked interviews, lunches and phone chats. I’ve checked out books on running a LLC, freelance writing, pitching in the room and filmmaking. I handed a script to one of my former co-workers, potentially putting me one step closer to a screenplay agent’s desk. I’ll be hitting the gym as much as I can, a break that will keep me fit in body and mind. Nexflix will bring me inspiration and escape. I might even *gasp* network with actual people, not their avatars. 

I feel overwhelmed with possibilities. My little LLC could become my job. On the same token, I could see getting another full-time position where I work with equally exciting and creative people.  

I’m sure there will be moments of doubt and panic, but the last thing I want to be is the guy waiting for the phone to ring and constantly surfing the web. Everyday, I can create. 

I read something by my friend Erik Proulx that has stuck with me to this day: “Don’t be the guy looking for a job. Be the guy doing something interesting.” 

I have had an empowering and inspiring first few days of unemployment. Sunday I was surrounded by people who believed in my vision and ambition, and took time out of there lives to help with the web series. On Monday, I took that final brutal drive from San Antonio to Austin. I had dinner with my kids. Tomorrow, I get to pick them up from school. Next Friday, I’m going to a field trip with Casey. Just this morning, a Twitter follower, someone I’ve never met, gave me money to help pay for a badge to the Dad 2.0 Summit Conference. This conference is the PERFECT place for me to get the word out about “Imagination Situation”. 

Is there any reason to feel bad about losing a job that wasn’t personally fulfilling?  

Absolutely not.  

In my younger days, I probably would have turned to something in “Rent” for empowerment and drive. I can’t even listen to it anymore. The lyrics can be powerful, but I don’t want to spend my time with depressed bohemians. My reality has changed. 

I can’t seem to wipe this smile off my face. 

Life’s a happy song. Yes it is.